What do long-term relationships and co-founding companies have in common? I was recently listening to couples therapist Esther Perel discuss long term relationships at Summit when it dawned on me that the two experiences have a lot of parallels. There are certainly pros and cons to doing it with others versus going at it alone. Of course, co-founderships lack the physical intimacy, but all the other staples of a successful long-term relationship are part of a successful co-foundership. Most interestingly, mutual admiration is right at the top for both set of circumstances.
I think back to when I first started working with my co-founders, Adam and HP, and how passionate we were to start something successful in our home country, Hungary. Working through the night was not uncommon, we thought of nothing else for weeks on end and our friends started to wonder if we were dead. That’s all pretty similar to the giddy feeling you get when you first fall in love, just without the compulsion to jump on one another. It’s a time of hope and promise. Compromise comes easily, you listen to everything the other person has to say because you’re complimenting a need in each other. Sure, you face setbacks like not having enough money to do what you want. And there are always bound to be plenty of people who will tell you it’ll never last. But they don’t matter, you’re too in love.
Then, you face your first challenges. You start discovering that some of the magic in your relationship is an illusion. You start seeing your partner’s faults. This is a tricky time for everyone, but if it was meant to be, that starting passion will carry you through. After that first big fight, your daily life can become settled. But it doesn’t always last. Another thing that can cause conflict is an unclear agreement on roles. Twitter is a famous example of how this can be tough — each of their co-founders cycled through the CEO position. We were lucky at Prezi because each co-founder had a distinct strength that we recognized in each other. We have a designer, a computer scientist and an entrepreneur, so we naturally had a Head of Design, a CTO and a CEO.
And then just when you thought you had it all figured out, you may start asking yourself, is this what I really want? As Esther Perel points out, the paradox arises of wanting stability and connection as well as excitement and novelty. According to her, successful couples admire each other particularly when they see each other in their element. As Prezi started growing rapidly both in terms of users (25 million+) and employees (160) we founders had to grow a lot ourselves. We needed to remind ourselves of things we like about each other and we had to learn to give each other space. Every week I learn about feelings of delight from Adam, HP has an uncanny wit that keeps us all sharp and it seems that they actually appreciate my desire to change the world. Maybe we understand the importance of recognizing strengths and appreciating them because all three of us are in long-term relationships.
Long-term relationships and co-founding companies have the potential to be amazing or terrible experiences. Personally, I would never swap my co-founding experience for the alternative of self-founding. There’s a strong human compulsion to be seen and to feel like you make an important contribution. Having someone there to bounce ideas off of, to tell you when you’ve gone too far, to cheer you up when you’re down and to get your creative energies going is important. A well-functioning relationship between co-founders makes life – and business — more meaningful and fun.
OK. So i thought this is an interesting comparison. But there is truly not much difference. What do you think?
CEO and Co-Founder @ Prezi
No comments:
Post a Comment