You know how inconveniencing it can feel to walk with some ladies? Truth is, there are the ladies that a guy would proudly walk with in daylight, others under cover of real darkness. And they hardly identify that this happens. They think it is coincidence that he only meets them after dark. Ever bothered to ask if he is a wizard that flies at night? It is more because he is not proud enough to exhibit your flaws - flaws in conduct and composure unbecoming of a respectable girl. Yes he simply does not respect you enough, but he may not show it. A friend reminded me of this recently after I teased him about his nocturnal girl. And this is for the lady that wants absolute respect from her man, in addition to the basic attitudinal attributes.

Poise is composure and dignity of manner. It is a graceful and elegant bearing in a person. About a few generations ago, every well-bred young girl was given posture lessons. Many ladies are less poised today because we do not place values on posture, manners and behaviour as much as before. being poised is not just having composure, but dignity as well. A poised person has elegant mannerisms. Her movements of her body have a lot of style. The way she walks, talks, carries herself is fluid and gentle, yet strong and purposeful. You sometimes can't take your eyes off a woman with poise. You can't help but watch as she gets out of the car, smiles at the doorman, and say thank you. She pauses, stands and her eyes lit up as she walks towards the person waiting for her. She is unaware of the impact of her presence at the atmosphere of the room.

The opposite of poise? You can spot a mile away. Clumsy, awkward, clunky.

How then, do you acquire poise? Study the lessons of elegance so that you will maintain an attitude of grace and composure. And definitely, improve your posture! Posture plays a big part in the visual element of poise and contributes to an elegant poise.

Decades ago, women invested in posture lessons and learnt how to walk properly. It was as important as learning to put make up on. While you put make up to present your best face forward, poise is putting your best presentation to the world. You can say having good posture is like putting on make-up for the body. Focusing on good posture contributes to graceful movement and elegant gestures.

Good posture contributes to good health. It holds your body up, helps you breathe better and reduces back pain. It prevents the spine from forming abnormal positions. You can also prevent other future health problems like arthritis, fatigue by correcting your posture and developing good posture benefits.

Correct posture for sitting Correct posture for stooping or bending down

Here are some basic steps on how to develop poise.

Ø Dress your best to always give yourself confidence that you already look great. There is a psychological effect that takes place. Your body responds to your thoughts and projects how you feel.

Ø Study the Way that You Walk: There is a misconception that girls think they have to strut like a model for a beautiful walk. Get rid of the supermodel walk. It is reserved for very few occasions, definitely not in your everyday walk. Don’t bend forward your shoulders, don’t swing your arms too much, don’t make your steps too big, nor too small, retreat the stomach inside and keep the spine straight. Study your body in a mirror, from head to toes and try to correct your posture. When you walk have a confident look, keep your knees closed, straight spine and relaxed, smiling face. Walk purposefully with an erect back. Don’t ever drag or stamp your feet and don’t be jittery or nervous. Take your time before taking the first step.

Ø Be Gentle: There is a certain kind of chic gentleness in being poised. Gentle and elegant gestures increase our beauty. Clothes are not the only 'covering' we wear. It is much easier to be gentle when you are kind and tender. Gentle is an all encompassing word. If you're gentle to little animals, you'll be gentle towards someone's feelings. You'll also probably not slam things around.

Ø Smile Much, Laugh Softly: Similarly as gentleness is concurrent with developing poise, being poised means having a gentle smile (ready and often) as well as soft harmonious laughter. Knee-slapping, hand-clapping, back slapping or laughter with mouth wide open does not contribute to poise. Laughing very loudly especially in a restaurant is not acceptable as well.

Ø Watch Your Hands: Some of us have problems keeping our hands to ourselves. The problem of fidgety hands and wanting to touch everything, do something with our hands could be attributed to the problem of being 'unable to relax'. If you want to develop poise, train yourself to keep them relaxed and do yourself. Don't be digging into your purse, looking at your iPhone every 30 seconds, touching your face, hair. It is good to practice restraint.

Ø Have a deep respect of others and things around you: Women with elegant poise have a deep respect of others and things around them. For instance, they tend to leave a place the way it was when they entered. They are not ones to touch things in another person's house. If they borrowed something, it would be in the exact condition (or better sometimes) when they received it. They'll never be one of those that leave the hotel rooms in a complete mess just because they don't have to clean up. They won't drive a rented a car in a way they won't drive their own. You'll never catch them saying, "who cares? It is rented." They'll also never steal blankets from airplanes etc.

According to Eunice Leong, “I like to archive biographies and pictures of women who inspire me. It's sort a visualisation exercise. (Visualisation: Putting before my eyes and in my mind of what I love so I will become.)”. Here’s her list below and reason @ www.elegantwoman.org/elegant-women.html: