Entrepreneurs are commonly
advised to regret nothing, as regretting is perceived to inhibit growth and entrepreneurialism. But
regrets are completely natural and unavoidable. We cannot simply wish them
away.
We cannot, for example, avoid
regretting losing out on opportunities that were almost in our grasp. Recall
gymnast McKayla Maroney's crestfallen face at the London Olympics after winning
a silver medal -- an image that went so viral, it inspired President Obama to
tweet a picture with her in the same "I am
not impressed" pose. Why did Maroney feel so bad? Research shows that for silver medalists,
it is a case of "too close, yet too far." What is true for athletes
is true for entrepreneurs -- especially those who were locked in close finishes
or were working on opportunities that became big. For them, regrets are not
only unavoidable -- they are expected.
In a study at Syracuse University that was
recently published in Entrepreneurship Theory & Practice, my co-authors and
I examined these issues at some length. Several entrepreneurs in our study
reported regrets along the lines of: "I failed to launch an idea due to a
personal setback. Now I get emotional when I see so many players in my
space." Can we really avoid regretting missed opportunities? And is it
even necessary?
Regrets do not necessarily stop
us from acting. Quite the opposite. Regretting smartly prepares us for the
future. How many times has someone told you: "I wish I had not wasted my
time on X" or "I should have done Y more wisely"? These
regretful thoughts could potentially be used to deconstruct failures into
meaningful scenarios for learning and growth.
Many people also use regrets to
feel better about their situation by imagining how it could have been even
worse. Imagine if you were speeding in your car to deliver your bid for a
contract and got into an accident. You might find yourself saying, "Thank
God I am alive," and, yet, of course, you would still regret the lost
opportunity. That is exactly how many cancer survivors find solace, according
to research. Sometimes, it is
comforting just to have an opportunity to start all over again.
The question then is not whether
entrepreneurs should regret or not, but rather how they should be productive
about such feelings. If you are going to be an entrepreneur, you better have
loads of self-confidence. In the aforementioned study, we found entrepreneurs
with high self-esteem learned from regretful thoughts and were more likely to
retry and be successful, while those with low self-esteem tended to feel
inhibited.
The road to entrepreneurial
success is paved with failures, and there will be plenty of them all along the
way. Most people do not succeed on their first or even second attempts, and
even successful ventures emerge from a recurring cycle of mistakes and
rejection.
One effective way to deal with
regrets is to break problems into bite-sized chunks. For example, instead of
berating yourself with blanket statements like "I am no good," try
generating specific alternative scenarios detailing what could have gone wrong.
Perhaps, it was as simple as not knowing how to manage cash flows. This
approach will help you learn and grow, rather than dwelling on what went wrong.
Use your good days to build a
reservoir of self-belief and determination despite the obstacles of the
inevitable bad days. The simplest way to do this is to remind yourself of past
successes anytime you think of a failure. Sit down with a blank piece of paper
and write down your top five successes. Search your email for kind notes from
customers praising your work. Seek out mentors or friends who believe in you
and can remind you why you got involved in the business in the first place.
Look back only to learn what you must to move forward. And remember, in the
end, as Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can or you think you cannot,
you are right."
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